Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Woodpeckers and Other Things That Go Bump in the Night

One night Hudson decided that he was afraid of woodpeckers.  He had just come back from his grandparent’s house and they had heard a woodpecker in a tree.  His grandmother had told him about how they use their beaks to make a home in the tree.  How this creature had somehow morphed into some terrifying beast of the sky in his mind, I couldn’t tell you.

“I’m scared!” Hudson wailed while I was tucking him into bed.
“Of what?”  I was expecting his usual answer of “the dark” or the ever more popular “I don’t know”
Insert dramatic pause here.

I knew when I became a parent that I would one day have conversations about ghosts and monsters under the bed.  There was that brief period when he was two where he was afraid of his own toe fuzz in the tub but that was quickly rectified when I was able to prove that they weren’t bugs. This I didn’t know how to handle.  How do you make an animal that is already not threatening, non-lethal, it’s a bird for gods sake, even more non-threatening to a child?  Were there reports of a woodpecker trying to build a home in someone’s skull that I didn’t know about?

“I don’t want them to make holes in our house.”
“Our house is made out of brick.”
“But I don’t want them to make holes!”
“Hudson, our house is brick.  He is a WOOD-pecker.”

I don’t remember how this conversation ended. I know we went back and forth a few times and that I was completely frustrated.  I remember in a moment of desperation that I told him about Woody Woodpecker and how he had a funny laugh and he gave me a look that said essentially, pardon my language, “what the fuck are you talking about?”  I do know one thing with certainty.  I know that the next night he wasn’t afraid of woodpeckers anymore.  I remind myself of this story whenever I need to know that this too shall pass.


  1. Haha! What the fuck faces from kiddos when you think you're giving them a perfectly rational explanation are hilarious. Sabine pardon my language but you've been cracking my ass up, keep up the good work!

  2. I am standing in my kitchen laughing at my phone as I read this! We went through the sock fuzz in the tub phase also. It must be a normal part of child development. Hudson is a little older than Jackson so when he tells me he is afraid of woodpeckers I can be prepared thanks to your blog. :). I love it!!!