Tuesday, October 9, 2012

False Advertising

I just found hard-boiled egg all over my stairs and almost came unglued.  I wanted to cry the day I found freeze-dried parsley on the couch…and the floor… and on the bookcase.  It is in this spirit that I call bullshit on the paper towel commercial where the kids are making a complete mess in the kitchen and the mom gives a slight smile and shake of the head as if to say “You silly, free spirited kids.  It's so cute how your nonconformist ways are destroying my kitchen.”.   Ditto to the Subaru commercial were the kids are washing the inside of the car with soapy water and toothpaste and the dad catches them in the act and cheerfully says, “You missed a spot.”  What dose of benzodiazepines do you have to be on to garner that response?  I can’t watch my daughter dump her bowl of Cheerios on the floor for the tenth time without feeling like my eyeballs might come shooting out of head as I loose my ever lovin’ mind.

I would love to be that jovial mom from that commercial that is able to have a food fight in her kitchen without a care, but I can’t.  I’m half German.  It goes against my genes.  In my version of the this commercial, it ends with me sitting in my kitchen, crying into a glass of wine, and begging a Merry Maid to move into my house.  I wish the mess didn’t bother me, but it does.  And the fact that I can’t keep up drives me batty.  If you know some good meditation techniques to deal with the anxiety caused by a mess I will never be ahead of, let me know.  Meanwhile, I’ll be looking for a bright engineering student that can preprogram a Roomba to follow my kids around the house.

1 comment:

  1. Look on the bright side. One day we will be sitting on the porch drinking coffee while our children are cleaning the house. Right??!! Ha!

    It must be my German blood that keeps me unhappy in a messy home. Thanks for the insight!

    PS-those paper towel commercials are so ridiculous. We should make a real version where the mom is pissed off :)