Saturday, October 6, 2012

Notes from the Fair

Wednesday we went to the fair.  Here are my random observations about the fair.

Fanny packs have resurfaced as a fashion statement. One lady wore hers with a T-shirt that read, “This is what a cool grandma looks like”.  I am going to respectfully disagree.  I have no doubt, dear lady, that you are probably a good grandma, a kind grandma, and a loving grandma, but the fact that you have chosen to pair your T-shirt with a fanny pack makes the cool part quite implausible.  Another lady used hers as a cup holder for her enormous drink which is if not stylish at least functional.

I think I got peed on by a sheep.  We walked by a family leading two freshly shorn sheep through the crowd.  I then suddenly felt mystery wetness on my ankle.  A logical person can only deduce that the offending fluid was sheep urine.

Mullets.  They are the silent killer of good taste everywhere.  I saw a tragic case of a mullet in its most severe form: the buzz cut mullet.  Let us spread awareness so this does not happen to you or a loved one.

All food is better either with cheese, bacon, deep-fried, or on a stick.  I am therefore wondering why there is not a single vendor selling cheese dip deep-fried bacon on a stick.

If you are a redneck couple and feel the need to make out in public, I will try to be ok with that.  If you could, however, make it look less like two people high on bath salts trying to eat each other’s face off it would be greatly appreciated.

I am wondering if the Native American gentleman we saw with the swastika tattoo got into the White Supremacists thanks to their affirmative action program.

Lastly, kids loose their goddamn mind at the fair.  I have nothing else to say on this topic.  It’s just fact.


  1. Let us not forget the fact that it costs damn near as much as a licensed theme park to even attend a fair these days. Used to be cheap entertainment now replaced by sometimes having to pay to park and about $4 per person per ride or somewhere between $20-30 per person for a wrist band. Aside from the cost of feeding or keeping yourself hydrated. Insane!!!

    1. No kidding. It pained me to buy my son a $5 corn dog only to have him eat 3 bites. Thankfully I have a daughter who is a bottomless pit when it comes to food.