Poop. If you
are not parent you may want to stop reading now because a) I will gross you out
b)I will shortly prove how uncool I have become. Moms, why is this now not only an acceptable conversation to
have, but one that gets every parent animated like no other topic? I am amazed as to the detail we can get
into while casually discussing our children’s bowel habits over a nice
meal. Anything from weird places
our kids poop (mine prefers the tub), how brocolli and blueberries affects
color and consistency, how corn can be of any nutritional value as it seems to
not be digested at all to how well our children wipe if at all.
I also realize how big of a hypocrite this makes me. I will listen to elderly ladies trade
stool softener and laxative tips like their trading cookie recipes and turn to
my husband to say in a snarky manner “at what age do we become obsessed with
our own bowel movements?” For some
reason, bowel habits of the young, however, is completely acceptable. We recently had dinner with a group of
our good friends. This group
included two doctors, a lawyer, a successful business man, and a teacher. You would think this group could tackle
out nations economic, healthcare and education problems all over appetizers,
but what gets us all going-completely disgusting stories about where and how
our kids have taken a shit. (It
was hilarious. You should have
been there.)
I believe the dramatic poop story is one that every parent
has to have to truly be accepted into the club. Your badge of honor is earned with a good “poo-tastrophe” (I
must credit my friend Lindsey for this brilliant term). It is a sight to see a group of
educated adults try to one up each other in the poo department. “You got poop on your arm. That ain’t nothin’. Let me tell you about the time my
daughter shat on the wall…”
I’m not suggesting we abandon this topic. The well-told narration of a dramatic
poop story is an art form. As long
as you are with other parents of course.
If you tell these stories to your friends without kids, you will quickly
loose that friend. But next time
you listen to your grandma tell you how she hasn’t pooped in a week. Don’t judge. You’re no better.
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