Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Children's Books Can Be Creepy, Part 2


Oh hello, readers!  You’ve come back.  I’m so happy.  Take a seat.

Today’s tale is one that will inspire any of you with dreams of becoming a tobacco company executive.   For you PETA supporters, you may want to sit this one out.

Ok, today’s story is “The Original Curious George”.
How fun!  Do any of you like potato sack races, too?

Yes, children, sometimes I too dream that someone pluck me from my home and transplant me in a strange and wonderful new place.  Like aliens!  You kids like aliens?  They exist you know.  Anyway, I digress.

Now you may think that this is a picture of a near-drowning monkey.  Not so…..it’s…..yeah, ok…..I think that’s a picture of a near-drowning monkey.  But there’s also a picture of a man smoking and that is a valuable thing for monkeys and children to learn about.

See, children, when you are stressed about all those extra-curricular activities your parents make you participate in, just grab a pipe and inhale deeply.    Along with your lungs, your stress will just melt away.

You know what’s more fun that smoking?  You…slightly dirty boy in the back with the tattoo…..yes, that’s right!  Prison!
It’s like slumber party every night and you even get your very own pet rats!

But eventually those pet rats steal your food and make you do dirty things.  If this happens make sure you do as Curious George and get hell out of there.

And do as The Man tells you.  He knows what’s good for you.

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