Saturday, November 10, 2012

Reasons Why I Voted Obama According to Friends and Family


Reasons why I voted for Obama according to some of my conservative friends and family.

1)   I hate freedom.  You’re right.  Fucking hate it.  I don’t even let my kids choose their own breakfast cereal.  Grape Nuts for everyone, because everyone knows communists love Grape Nuts.

2)   I support terrorism.  I love me the shit out of some terrorism.  I would make a ribbon for it if all the good colors weren’t taken and the ones left were more terrorist-y.

3)   I’m a hippie.  I do bring my own reusable shopping bags and I ate some granola yesterday, so ok…I’ll own it.

4)   I wasn’t thinking.  This one just isn’t true.  I was thinking.  Thinking about all the welfare and government housing I was going to get.  Have you been to the projects?  Fabulous!  Totally shabby chic.

All kidding aside, I voted the way I voted because of some deeply held convictions just as I’m sure you did the same, no matter who your ballot went to.  I hope we can all get along again tomorrow.  I’ll bring the Grape Nuts.

My son invoking his second amendment rights.

5 comments:

  1. I liked you before. Now? Now, I love you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Heather! You are pretty darn awesome yourself! (still giggling about the thong story)

      Delete
  2. Can we be best friends? According to some of my relatives I voted for Obama because I'm an evil Marxist with a mental illness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heck yeah! Yep, I've heard those things too. These days I'm a Hitler supporter because I support tighter gun control. Oh well. At least I'm happy to hear I'm not alone. Maybe we can start a "Liberal in Oklahoma" support group.

      Delete