Reasons Why I Voted Obama According to Friends and Family

Reasons why I voted for Obama according to some of my conservative friends and family.

1)   I hate freedom.  You’re right.  Fucking hate it.  I don’t even let my kids choose their own breakfast cereal.  Grape Nuts for everyone, because everyone knows communists love Grape Nuts.

2)   I support terrorism.  I love me the shit out of some terrorism.  I would make a ribbon for it if all the good colors weren’t taken and the ones left were more terrorist-y.

3)   I’m a hippie.  I do bring my own reusable shopping bags and I ate some granola yesterday, so ok…I’ll own it.

4)   I wasn’t thinking.  This one just isn’t true.  I was thinking.  Thinking about all the welfare and government housing I was going to get.  Have you been to the projects?  Fabulous!  Totally shabby chic.

All kidding aside, I voted the way I voted because of some deeply held convictions just as I’m sure you did the same, no matter who your ballot went to.  I hope we can all get along again tomorrow.  I’ll bring the Grape Nuts.

My son invoking his second amendment rights.