Thursday, November 8, 2012

Why I'm always getting confused for Megan Fox


I am constantly being confused for Megan Fox.  Every time I’m at the grocery store people stop me and say, “Hey Megan Fox!  I loved you in Transformers!”  or  “Megan Fox!  How are you so damn sexy?”  Today I want to set the record straight.

This is Megan Fox.


This is me in a similar sexy bed picture.
If you think that's an uncanny ressemblance I'm about to blow your mind.

  

This is Megan Fox’s thumb.


This is my thumb.


We have a condition known as brachydactyly.  Brachydactyly is a condition where the thumb is short and stubby, but still functional.  Except when bowling.  I need a fifty pound ball to fit this thumb in the hole.  Megan Fox has went on to become a successful film actress despite her handicap.  I once was successful at convincing someone that my thumb was accidentally cut off as a child requiring a toe to hand transplant.  For any middle schoolers out there suffering from bracydactyly, I would not advise this plan.  It didn’t do much for making me seem like less of a weirdo.

Since Megan Fox is the poster child for brachydactyly,  I’m hoping I can convice her to be the spokesperson for my newly founded organization, the Brachydactlyly Foundation.  We will champion important causes such as requiring bowling alleys to provide balls with bigger holes, educating manicurists so they won’t look at your thumb with a  mixture or disgust and amusement asking if you sucked your thumb as a child, and most importantly educating spouses that it is not ok to say “Maybe you can finally get a ring that fits” when passing the toe-ring fitting tent at the state fair.

I hope you will join me and my toe-thumbed brethren in our fight for phalangeal equality for all.

9 comments:

  1. this is hilarious! came over from LTYM announcement, congratulations!

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  2. stumbled upon this. my left thumb looks identical to yours. when i hold up my two thumbs side by side, the right one is about 1/2" longer and the nail is long and oval (i.e "normal") and the left is short and squarish. funny because I always thought it used to be normal and got jammed in a door or something. its comforting to know there are others out there...ive always been embarrassed/ashamed of it and hide it as much as possible. easily done since its my left hand. most people never notice until I bring it up to them. and about your bowling comment...i feel the same way about play pool. I struggle with holding the stick properly. and joke I could never win thumb war with my left hand ;)

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  3. I will never be able to have nice acrylic nails thanks to my big square thumb from Brachydactyly disease.

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  4. I am disgusted to hear about your Brachydactly disease. I look at your thumb with disgust as it looks like a disfigured big toe is growing from your hands. Hopefully you don't pass this disease down to your children.

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