Wednesday, January 30, 2013

On Being a Just

Last week while driving back from Dallas, I got pulled over for speeding.  I was on  hour four of our trip and the kids were hyped up on McDonald’s, so I must have missed the 35 mph sign.

I saw the cop car pull out behind me.  I prayed for the lights to not come on.  Then they came on anyway and I pulled over.

“I clocked you going 50 mph in a 35.  Any reason why you were going that fast?”

There’s always a reason.  Not necessarily a good one.
“I thought the speed limit was still 50.  I’m sorry.”

“Do you work?”
“Are you unemployed or just a housewife?”

And there it was, my worst fear.  To be a just.  Just implies not important.  Just implies I have nothing to contribute.

“Just a housewife.” I mumbled.

I drove away with my speeding ticket and bruised pride.  I beat myself up over not being able to pay attention to the task at hand.  It’s why I am constantly running into things when I park.  But more so, I beat myself up over not being…more.

Tonight the answer came to me through a children’s book.  I was tucking Hudson in and I was reading him “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore”.  Mr. Morris Lessmore is a writer and lover of books.  One day his world is torn apart by a storm and he finds himself in a library filled with living books.  He becomes their caretaker and sometimes loans out books to the townspeople.  He loans out some well-known stories and some not well known because “Everyone’s story matters.”

Even mine.   It may not matter to a whole lot of people, but it matters a lot to two very important people.  To them, I am just enough.  I am just the person who knows that at bedtime, track 2 is the only acceptable track on the Mozart Bedtime CD and it must be repeated.   I am just the person who knows how to cut a sandwich to the right sized pieces.  I am just the person to tuck them in the right way at night.  I am just the person who knows how to talk to them when they're scared, when they're hurt, when they're frustrated.

Maybe to some people this is just sad.  That’s ok.  I don’t answer to those people.  I answer to myself and two very important people who think that what I do matters.  So maybe one day I will do more, but right now this is just enough.


  1. Wow. We really were on the same wavelength! Today I am good with being just a "just." Thank you!

  2. Shivers, teary eyes and a resounding "YES". Thank you so much for voicing what all of us "just housewives" feel every day.

  3. I LOVE being a "just," thanks for sharing, Stephanie!!!

  4. I stumbled upon your blog from Oklahoma Women Bloggers. You have quite a wonderful way of telling a story! I struggle with being a "just" from time to time, but I'm learning to enjoy it as I go. Great post!

  5. Beautiful reminder...thank you. When we start feeling this way, it is so good to be reminded that to our children, we are their world. So thankful for Motherhood.

  6. Lovely post. I read that book to my boys the other night and missed the neat truth you found. How cool that you saw that and pointed it out to me--another housewife who is just the way the Lord made her.