Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Don’t a Judge a Book by the S*#t Found Inside It

I am participating in Oklahoma Women Bloggers "For the Love of Blogging" challenge.  Today's challenge is all about knicknacks or collections.

It may appear at first glance that my house is messy.  It’s not.  I am eclectic collector.  For instance, I have a great piece of abstract art.  It’s called “An Expression of Our Inner Beast” in the medium of dog hair.  You can find it proudly displayed along my baseboards.  The artist is a very hairy German with bad breath named Cooper Brown. He’s been known to poop in our house, but what are you going to do? Artists are eccentric.

I have a collection of laundry that would make you jealous.  I have my collection sorted into colors, whites, and shit that has ended up on the floor.  I also have a collection of dirty boys socks that is so valuable it sometimes has to be hidden in the couch cushions.

You might also assume that I have a stack of empty checkbooks with just the carbon copies because I am too lazy to shred them.  Wrong again.  I keep them so I can remember that day I paid my car insurance and remember it fondly.

That file of 5 year old credit card statements?  That’s Great Recession history.  One day I’ll show those to my children as I tell them the tale of how their patriotic grandmother supported her country’s failing economy by buying an extra pair of shoes.

And why would someone need ten tubes of nude lipstick?  Look if you have to ask, I can’t explain it to you.  Only a true connoisseur of make-up would understand.

Now, if you will excuse me I’m going to go admire my collection of junk mail.


  1. I have collections of those things too!

  2. LOL... the best knickknack story I've read today. It's gonna be hard to beat.

  3. Love your post! And your collections fascinate me ;)

  4. Bwaaahahaha. Looks like we have the same taste in art. I'm very proud of my collection on abstract robots done in marker and pencil. My friends are very jealous.

  5. Hahahahahahah!! Totally almost pee'd myself!

    1. Thanks! I'm always happy to contribute to bladder incontinence.

  6. "great recession history" -- you are so funny!! Love it!