Sunday, March 17, 2013

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Yells Pecker in Target

This is how Hudson went to Target today.  He initially had on rubber boots as well, but I put a stop to that.  I have my standards.  That standard being that you may not look like Lady Gaga, Björk, and Dennis Rodman somehow figured out how to have a love child.  Although I guess I'm cool with my child looking like he is heavily influenced by their fashion sense.

Kenzie was riding in the cart.  A few minutes into our trip she started hitting Hudson’s sun visor.
“I’LL CUT YOUR PECKER OFF!” yelled my son.
“HUDSON! NO!  Where in the world did you hear that?”
He replied with a shoulder shrug.

Who hasn’t been here before?  You’re in a store with your son dressed in a leopard sun visor, Lowe’s tool belt with a walkie talkie and a sheriff’s star talking about how it’s inappropriate to yell about cutting off people’s peckers.  Am I right, parents?  No?  Just me…ok.

We continued on to the boy’s section to pick out some T-shirts.  Kenzie again starts doing what she does best, annoying the shit out of her brother, and again starts hitting his sun visor.
“Hudson!  Stop it!”
Then my sweet, sweet Kenzie, my darling 2-year old, stands up in the cart and yells, “PECKEEERRRRRR!!!!”
“GUYS!  For the love of God...please.   Stop yelling about peckers.”
Hudson looked at me and pointed at his sun visor.  “But it’s my pecker.”

I’m not really sure why he has decided to call his sun visor a pecker, but I really wish I could have explained this to the people in our vicinity.  I’m sure this whole thing would have less embarrassing if I just could have explained that my son was talking about the pecker on his head and not in his pants or belonging to his sister.


  1. A friend of mine had a son with a black eye (probably of his own making) when he began to beg for candy in Walmart. After she told him no several times she became irritated and he yelled "No Mom, don't hit me again!" They left the store.

  2. I'm am absolutely sure that thought this has not happened yet, my daughter will do something equally as bad, if not drop the F bomb at Wallyworld. I have no doubt that I will one day be in your shoes. Thanks for the laugh and giving me something to look forward to.