Monday, May 6, 2013

Not Cool Dora

Kenzie, are you in here AAAAHHHHH!

Damn Dora, you scared the shit out of me!  Seriously, what the f$%&?  No, hi?  Not even a hola? Really Dora, it's creepy.  When someone walks in room you should really announce yourself.
You're really not going to say anything?  Really.  You're just going to sit in the corner being creepy?
Are you mad or something? Oh, I get it.  Is this because I wouldn't go to the Nighttime Forest with you?  Look.  I'm sorry, but your friends are assholes.  Last time your friends came over Swiper stole a $20 out of my purse and Boots took a dump on the carpet.  I just don't want to be around that kind of nonsense.
Listen, if you're just going to sit in the corner of my daughter's room and give me the cold shoulder you're going to have to find a new place to live.  I think you need to "ask the map" to find you a new place to crash.  You're giving me the creeps. And by the way,'s 2013...people ask their iPhones for directions.

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