Monday, June 3, 2013

Hamsters Are Not Whores

Hudson has been using ABC Mouse.  ABC Mouse is the online learning tool for children up to 6 years old advertised on Nick Jr. and the Disney channel.  It promises parents that your child will kick the academic asses of all other children whose parents did not sign them up for ABC Mouse.  It also implies that if you don’t sign your child up for ABC Mouse they will grow up forever making their living as a contestant on Wipeout.  Seriously.  Read the fine print.

Hudson was doing his lessons one afternoon when he excitedly announced, “A group of hamsters is called a whore!”

What the F is he learning on this site?  Did he accidentally click over to ABC Hamster Porn?

We’ve already had a birds and bees talk.  I’m not ready for hamsters.  I mean, I don’t even know anything about hamster sexuality.  They look so innocent and cute. Who knew they were the sluts of the rodent world when they get together in a group?

Hudson had two Hamsters in his preschool class.  I was a little bummed about not having had the opportunity to take advantage of my newfound knowledge and one day during a parent night saying “Oh, look a whore!” and responding to the shocked looks with “No, really.  It’s science.  God, don’t your kids use ABC Mouse?”

It’s a good thing I never had an opportunity to act on this thought.  Turns out, when I snapped out of this train of thought and actually looked at the screen, a group of hamsters is called a horde.


I guess hamsters are no more promiscuous than the rest of us.

Not a whore.

1 comment:

  1. So funny!! HA!

    We kept a pair of hamsters for some friends and put them in the cage together to clean one of the cages. The girls panic'd when they were fighting. I assured them they were not fighting and had a long talk about sex and animal instincts and whoops! Wont' that be cute when they have babies. But guess what? They were fighting because one ended up bloody and brain dead. I'm pretty sure I just secured a spot in the "I'm Asexual" club for the girls.