It’s All Your Fault

If you’re wondering why your kids are in trouble all the time, it’s probably because you’re an asshole.  You’re kids don’t want to be in trouble, but if you weren’t so rudely interrupting them when they’re hitting their siblings in the head with a stick from their fort, you wouldn’t be having this problem.  My daughter reminded me of this.

“Why are you in time-out?”
“Mommy.” (I guess I should give her partial credit for her answer.  Technically, I did forcibly put her in time-out so from a purely physics standpoint, I guess she’s correct.)
“No, you are not in timeout because of mommy…why are you in timeout?”
“Ummmm…..daddy?”

So next time you’re disciplining your kid for throwing Play-Doh or throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, just remember…it’s all your fault.  If you would just leave it alone, you wouldn’t be in this situation.