Things I Said Out Loud

Things I have said out loud in the last 24 hours:

"Why are you eating your napkin?"

"Stop eating your napkin."

"Don't eat the tag."

"Don't eat the book."

"Get the shower puff out of your mouth."

"Are you eating the shower puff?"

"Spit. Out. The shower puff pieces. Now."

"Get the crayon out of your nose."

"Get the crayon out of your ear."

"Don't draw on your face."

"Don't draw on your teeth."

"Stop pinching your nipples."

"You can't eat your toenails."

And finally...

"We're not putting a band aid on your butt."