Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Where is the Outrage?

While the world is busy discussing Miley Cyrus and her twerking we are missing the biggest scandal yet.  No, I’m not talking about Benghazi or the NSA.  I’m not talking about whether to take military action against Syria.  I’m talking about the scandal in rhythmic gymnastics.


Yes, that’s right.  Judges testing to qualify to officiate at the 2016 Olympics were caught cheating in testing rooms across Europe.  And worse, according to the New York Times, dozens of judges were cleared despite an investigation that concluded that some of the test scores could only have occurred by cheating.

I can hear you know.  You’re saying “No! Not our beloved rhythmic gymnastics!” and “What the fuck is rhythmic gymnastics?”  This one beautiful sentences from the New York Times sums it up beautifully.

The judges hailed the end of the investigation as an exoneration, but the decision reignited passions among critics who have long criticized the judging culture in a sport known for its soundtrack of classical music and its competitors’ elegant use of hoops, ribbons and balls.

There is a mark on America’s favorite pastime when there are no actual sports on and we are left between a choice of watching Fox News or girls dancing elegantly with hoops, ribbons, and balls.  This longtime judge sums it up best.

Erik Moers, a longtime judge and an outspoken critic of the scandal, wrote in a Facebook post that the move by F.I.G. was “the day fair judging in RG died !!!”

That’s right.  It died.  This happened right after the knowledge that rhythmic gymnastics is actually a thing died.

I do wonder what an exam to judge this sport would look like.  Perhaps they are shown a video of a girl doing an unconventional ribbon number to Ice, Ice Baby and asked, “Fill in the blank.  This performance was a)inventive b)snazzy c)lewd or d) it doesn’t fucking matter because it’s rhythmic gymnastics.   The candidates are then so stressed because they’ve come from a long line of rhythmic gymnastic judges who would never let them live down the dishonor they will bring to their family if they fail that they resort to copying off another candidates test.  “A or D.  A or D. OH MY GOD, I can’t decide!”

This whole story disgusts me.  What about all those children who dreamed of one day becoming a judge of rhythmic gymnastics after they failed at their dream of becoming a rhythmic gymnast after they failed at their original dream of becoming an actual gymnast?  What kind of message are we sending them?

And where is Obama?  When will he stand up and make a statement?  This could be one of his daughters being judged for nonsensical hoop and ribbon dancing.

I for one, will be boycotting the sport of rhythmic gymnastic.  This will be difficult since I’m not sure where to find it and am therefore not sure what channel to tune into so I can angrily change it later.

1 comment: