Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween Fail

I had no intentions of doing Halloween decorations.  I’m still trying to gear up for less lame Christmas decorations outside, but Hudson had other plans.  Our neighbors have an elaborate display of pumpkins, skeletons, inflatables and lights so of course Hudson decided that we should do something as well.  Thanks for that neighbors.  I’m just treading water trying to make sure all the superhero and princess underwear are picked up and the hand towels aren’t covered in Nutella when guests come over.  One festive display and then the rest of us with young children are pressured into doing the same.

We compromised and I told him he could pick out a couple of things next time we were at Target.  We walked through the aisles and Hudson looked at everything.  The care he took comparing and choosing was akin to someone choosing an insurance policy or deciding how aggressive to be with their 401k.  I dunno…sounds like something real adults would do with care.  Anyway, we finally settled on some stick-on decorations for the window and some cobweb lights.

We did not choose the gigantic fuzzy black spider.  This did not stop him from having nightmares about a gigantic fuzzy spider coming into his room.  Damn you, Target Halloween aisle!  You still owe me 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

And that was not the end of the damning.  I chose the cobweb lights because it looked simple.  No elaborate stringing of lights.  If you look at the picture on the box it certainly appeared that way.  The box lies and I now realize relies heavily on Photoshop.

There is no f-ing way that these lights are actually hanging this way.  If you look at the edges, despite the perfect cobweb shape, there are no posts or supports that could be holding it in this form.  Unfortunately, our box did not include a physics defying magic wand to make the 4 included suction cups make this shape.  Not even an extra from a Harry Potter movie.  What it did come with was the disappointment of a 5-yr old that can’t understand why you can’t just make the lights look like the ones on the box.

After examining our string to posts ratio, we decided instead to throw the lights over one of our bushes. We told Hudson this was better because that’s where spiders would naturally make their webs.  In pink.  Cause he reminds me everyday that the lights are pink and not purple as promised on the box.

Happy lame Halloween.

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