Yesterday the Affordable Care Act went into effect and today
I see baconless pinto beans advertised like it’s a good thing. Connected? You tell me.
Look, I’m not one to make wild accusations on the Internet,
but Obama.
Think about it.
We all know he’s communist Kenyan who hates us for our freedom to eat
salted meats. So what a perfect
way to take our liberties than some propaganda about how bacon is bad for
us. Sure he didn’t say that, but
that’s not going to stop me from saying it. Why? Because I
love freedom and America. That’s
why.
Now you might be asking yourself, “Now how do you go from a
healthcare law to bacon confiscation?”
First of all, if you are asking yourself that you’re probably a
communist tree-hugging hippie and you should move to Canada. Second, microchips and bacon panels.
Yep, that’s right.
Obamacare has a little know
provision that requires every person to have a microchip implanted that
monitors your bacon consumption.
If you have never read that provision you’re a socialist granola eatin’
libtard and you should move back to Germany or some other country that hates us
for our constitution and incredibly good deals at insanely low prices.
The bacon consumption is then monitored by bacon
panels. The bacon panels are made
up of Obama appointees that he picked from his Muslim Brotherhood barbershop
quartet. Sure, that may sound like
a crazy accusation but Obama has a funny foreign name so it’s probably
true. Plus, I just wrote it so
it’s fact. Boom.
From there he goes to the United Nations, signs a bacon
treaty, and next thing you know we have complete bacon confiscation. Well, Obama I have three words for you. You can pry the bacon out of my cold dead hands. Ok, that’s technically 11 words, but
fuck you. This is America and I
can count however I goddamn please.
So in conclusion,-Obama is the devil, bacon, freedom, ‘Merica.
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