Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Children Are Like Tiny Drunks

Remember when you were in college and you were the designated driver.  Your friends would be singing drunken renditions of Garth Brooks songs, maybe a little TLC, while another friend was having deep philosophical thoughts about the universe or why fried pickles are so damn good.  Inevitable someone had to pee.  Yeah, driving with kids five and under is kinda like that.

The 15 minute drive to my in-laws house was a cacophony of sound.  Kenzie was singing, louder and with more vibrato as she went along.

“Twinkle, Twinkle little star.  How I wonder what you are…”

Enter Hudson.  Hudson was in awe of the Christmas lights.  Every lit house was better than the last.

“Oooohhh, did you see those lights?  Momma, did you see them?”
Kenzie was still singing.
“Up above the world so high…”
“Momma, did you see THOSE lights?  They’re so pretty.”

At this point, I am reminded of that scene in Young Guns where they all take peyote and Doc goes on and on about the love of his life being like a butterfly.  That’s how it started anyway.  By the end of the ride he was more like “Dirty Steve” on peyote going on about the hallucinated over-sized chicken.

“MOMMA, DID YOU SEE THOSE LIGHTS?  DID YOU SEE THEM?  THEY’RE SO BEAUTIFUL! DID YOU SEE THEM?  LOOK!!!”

Kenzie was still singing.  And to prove my children are like tiny drunk people/stoners point, this is what she started singing:
“Like a diamond, we’re so high…”
“Kenzie, I don’t think that’s how the song goes…”
“MOMMA!  LOOK. AT. THE. LIGHTS!”
“Up in the skyyyy….we’re so high…”

At least in college these types of nights ended with pancakes at IHOP.  This night I just got to do the whole thing over again on the way home.  Nobody bought me pancakes.



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