Monday, February 3, 2014

Yoga-ing with My Kids

Yoga is defined, by the end all be all of information-Wikipedia, as the physical, mental and spiritual practices or disciplines with a view to attain a state of permanent peace.  Yesterday my kids wanted to do yoga with me.  There was no peace-permanent, temporary, fleeting or otherwise.  There was the physical, mental and spiritual practice of not losing my mind.

For the first two minutes, all was calm and very zen.   As zen as could be expected when doing yoga with a 6 and 3-year old.  That was only after the initial fight over everyone’s spot in the room and some personal space issues.

After the first two minutes it was all downhill from there.   Hudson had tired of doing downward dog over and over again so instead decided to come up with his own move, which he called the booty pose.  As the name implies it involves lying on the floor, bringing your feet over your head so your butt is straight up in the air and near your face.

I tried very hard to tune them out for a moment, but Hudson and Kenzie’s conversation was hard to ignore.

Hudson: “Momma, this is the booty pose.”
Kenzie: “Hudson, you can’t just have your booty in the air.”
Hudson: “BOOTY!”
Kenzie: “BOOTY!”

Hudson told me that he only liked the ones where he got to lie down so I fast-forwarded to the end of the DVD thinking he may like that section better.  I stopped on child’s pose.  Perfect, right?  It was only perfect in that child’s pose involved an actual child climbing on me.  Kenzie tried to climb on my back and then when I told her to get down she resorted to trying to crawl under me.

“Momma, can you take your head off?”
“What? No, I can’t take my head off!”
“Can you open your head?”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“I want to go under.  Can you open your head?”

And on that note I pressed stop.  Namaste.

Considering how much yoga did not happen, I was surprised that the second question Hudson asked me this morning right after “Can you make my waffle?” was “Can we do yoga?”  We did.  Again it involved mostly booty poses, fights over personal space, and in general not doing yoga unless you count the booty pose.

I thought that was the end of yoga.  Until dinner that is, when Hudson asked me again if we could do yoga before bed.

So I guess yoga is here to stay.  I did get smart and buy a yoga DVD specifically for kids.  We’ll see how it goes.  May the peace be with me.

This is how they "Namaste".

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