Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Make Sure You're Not The Asshole

This morning I woke up at 5:00 am.  Not because I wanted to, but because a damn dog in my neighborhood was barking. I was sleeping so well up until that point. I was sleeping like a baby that just took Nyquil and got a visit from that Lunesta butterfly.

I tried to will the dog to shut up with my mind. It did not work. I laid there for a few minutes thinking surely the owner would realize that their f-ing dog was waking up the neighborhood. Five minutes later, still nothing.

I cursed under my breath. What is wrong with people?  If my kids wake up, I’m sending them to that douche bags house and letting him watch my kids for the next few hours. What kind of asshole lets their dog bark at butt-crack-of-dawn o’clock for this long?

Then it hit me.

Shit.

Did I let Cooper in last night?

I got up to check the dog bed. No dog. I checked the living room. No dog. I opened the back door.

“Cooper?” I half whispered. And there he came prancing around the corner from the side yard looking mighty pleased with himself.

Well. Turns out, I’m the asshole.


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