Monday, April 14, 2014

Safe Sex and Mass Murderers Go Hand In Hand

Oh, small town Oklahoma how I love you.

Taken in a gas station bathroom in Atoka…



Atoka, you’ve got it all figured out. What better way to get our young people to practice safe sex as well as enhancing good self-esteem and body image? Nothing says “I am confident in my manhood” like Bin Laden on your pecker. It also says “I’m not really right in the head, but I’ve got a good sense of humor…did I mention that I have Bin Laden on my pecker.”

Yes, the ladies will not be able to resist. That’s why it is so amazing that Bin Laden is only one of twelve! Who else could there be? Sadam Hussein? Hitler? William Howard Taft for the well-endowed? This condom machine offers hours of laughs and absolutely no sex.

Trust me on this one, guys. Listen, I know you’re already thinking of all the great pick-up lines to go with your politically incorrect condoms.

“President Johnson is in my pants and he’s dying to meet President Bush.”

“Speaker Boner is taking a vote. House Bill Let’s Get Freaky is expected to pass with bipartisan support.”

Just don’t. Look, I know it’s awfully tempting to run in the bedroom yelling, “Abraham Lincoln really IS the tallest president!” but you would be doing yourselves a disservice.

Women don’t want all that. Women just want things simple-a little romance and glow in the dark condoms like normal people.






2 comments:

  1. Sabine, so what's your point? For a girl willing to snap photos of a rubber machine in the mens' room, I see no downside except for exiting the restroom to ask Vijay for nine dollars in quarters in order to purchase the complete set. What happens in Atoka stays in Atoka.

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  2. Sabine, so what's your point? For a girl willing to snap photos of a rubber machine in the mens' room, I see no downside except for exiting the restroom to ask Vijay for nine dollars in quarters in order to purchase the complete set. What happens in Atoka stays in Atoka.

    ReplyDelete