Lately, I’ve been into making lists. Like many people, I
feel like I live in an endless world of kid demands, kid extra-curicular
activities, and looking for shit that my kids have lost. I felt like by the end
of the day I was exhausted and had done so much without really doing anything
at all. For that reason, before I go to sleep I’ve been making a list of my
priorities for the next day. I’ve even taken to getting up earlier so I can
have some peace and quiet in the morning to get stuff done without breaking up
an argument over who pretend touched who without really touching that person, a
grievous offense in the six and under crowd. This has been working pretty well, except for two things.
One. My kids sense when I get up. I got up at 6:40 the other
morning, tip-toed into the living room only to be met by a “Momma?” at the
bottom of the stairs. They sense when I need time alone or when I just need to
get things done and that shit is unacceptable. Unless that thing I need to get
done is looking for that one tiny Lego accessory that they lost 2 months ago
but is now imperative that I find right now because nothing, I repeat, nothing
will go right today if said Lego accessory is not found before leaving for
school.
Two. I keep adding to the list. Not because I keep thinking
of things that I need to do. Because I think of things I am about to do and add
them to the list for the sole purpose of being able to cross them off therefore
feeling more accomplished. They started off making sense. Hudson has picture
day this week. I should jot down a reminder to make sure I put the picture
payment in his bag that day. Sometimes they’re weak. I need to iron Hudson’s
shirt for picture day and I am just about to go iron the shirt so I will write
that down so I can immediately rush back to my list and cross it off than gloat
about how organized and productive I am.
If I continue on this trend I will end up with a list that
looks like this…
1) Eat Food
2) Take a nap.
3) Pee
4) Watch show
about 600lb person on TLC
5) Look at dog
and exclaim for the 10th time today, “What the hell is wrong with
your ass? Damn!”
6) One up #4 by
watching show about 1000 lb woman who may or may not have sat on a child.
7) Edit #1 to
read “Eat healthy food”
8) Do not turn
into 1000lb woman that sits on a child.
9) Watch
follow-up show to #6 “One Ton Killer: Transformed”
10) Write angry letter to TLC about how they exploiting the
morbidly obese for their own financial gain.
11) Check guide
to see when show about man with 100lb scrotal tumor is playing tomorrow.
12) Make tomorrow’s list
I will leave you now because I need to cross of the last
thing on today’s list.
13. Write blog post about list making to avoid doing actual
work.