Sunday, September 28, 2014

Lists Are Helpful Until They’re Not

Lately, I’ve been into making lists. Like many people, I feel like I live in an endless world of kid demands, kid extra-curicular activities, and looking for shit that my kids have lost. I felt like by the end of the day I was exhausted and had done so much without really doing anything at all. For that reason, before I go to sleep I’ve been making a list of my priorities for the next day. I’ve even taken to getting up earlier so I can have some peace and quiet in the morning to get stuff done without breaking up an argument over who pretend touched who without really touching that person, a grievous offense in the six and under crowd.  This has been working pretty well, except for two things.

One. My kids sense when I get up. I got up at 6:40 the other morning, tip-toed into the living room only to be met by a “Momma?” at the bottom of the stairs. They sense when I need time alone or when I just need to get things done and that shit is unacceptable. Unless that thing I need to get done is looking for that one tiny Lego accessory that they lost 2 months ago but is now imperative that I find right now because nothing, I repeat, nothing will go right today if said Lego accessory is not found before leaving for school.

Two. I keep adding to the list. Not because I keep thinking of things that I need to do. Because I think of things I am about to do and add them to the list for the sole purpose of being able to cross them off therefore feeling more accomplished. They started off making sense. Hudson has picture day this week. I should jot down a reminder to make sure I put the picture payment in his bag that day. Sometimes they’re weak. I need to iron Hudson’s shirt for picture day and I am just about to go iron the shirt so I will write that down so I can immediately rush back to my list and cross it off than gloat about how organized and productive I am.

If I continue on this trend I will end up with a list that looks like this…

1)  Eat Food
2)  Take a nap.
3)  Pee
4)  Watch show about 600lb person on TLC
5)  Look at dog and exclaim for the 10th time today, “What the hell is wrong with your ass? Damn!”
6)  One up #4 by watching show about 1000 lb woman who may or may not have sat on a child.
7)  Edit #1 to read “Eat healthy food”
8)  Do not turn into 1000lb woman that sits on a child.
9)  Watch follow-up show to #6 “One Ton Killer: Transformed”
10) Write angry letter to TLC about how they exploiting the morbidly obese for their own financial gain.
11)  Check guide to see when show about man with 100lb scrotal tumor is playing tomorrow.
12) Make tomorrow’s list

I will leave you now because I need to cross of the last thing on today’s list.

13. Write blog post about list making to avoid doing actual work.

1 comment:

  1. Yes. Especially the one about writing down a list item that can be immediately crossed off and thus resulting in a feeling of accomplishment and validating the choice to sit down and watch crappy TV. #recognize